wanna go halves on a baby?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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