my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
