I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
