some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
