The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
