I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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