Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
