he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
