Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
