Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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