In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
