You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize