I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
