bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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