I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
