Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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