All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
