he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
