New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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