I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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