You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
