I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
