Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize