I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
