you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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