Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
