My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
