McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
