My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
