I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
