STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize