...so i touched it.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
