The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
