Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
