guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize