just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
