Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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