We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize