He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I am spending my child support on dildos
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
