i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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