Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
