lets start a swedish sibling band together
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
