And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
