I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
