its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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