hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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