Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
