i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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