i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
