am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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