Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
