dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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