you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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