I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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