who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
