my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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