Who wears a wallet chain?!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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