i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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