I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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