Screwed.edu
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
