Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Congratulations! We have a period
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
