i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
His nipple licking is glorious
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