the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
