i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
