I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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