that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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