whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
