he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
