I feel like I'm in dance class right now
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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