Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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