ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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