How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
