Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
