I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I will be naked everywhere
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
