My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
They should really pass out barf bags in church
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
