He uses pillows to masturbate.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
