does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
