So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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