Banned from zoo.
Again?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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