singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
