please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize