instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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