No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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